Typical Counseling Session

When it is time for your counseling session to begin, your therapist will come out to the waiting room to greet you and welcome you into the office. If it is your first session and you have just met, your therapist will ask you for some basic information, such as your name, address, and means of contacting you. They will also hand you a short agreement form and will go over the contents of the form with you, answering any questions you may have, before asking you to sign it. Because they prefer to spend the time talking with you and getting a clear picture of what has brought you to therapy, they keep the paperwork in the first session to a minimum. Instead of asking you a lot of “form questions,“ I will give you an intake form and a longer agreement form to complete at home and bring back to your next counseling session.

There is no “right” or “wrong” way to be a client in therapy. Please do not try to rehearse how or what you want to say when you come in. If you feel confused and as though you are “jumping all over the place,” that’s normal. Your therapist believes that everyone has a story that needs telling. He or she will listen to you respectfully and without judgment. They might ask an occasional question for clarification, or check in with an occasional comment to be sure that they are hearing your story the way you mean to hear it. Sometimes you may pause, and you will sit in silence for a time. In this way therapy differs from social conversation, where one person begins to speak when another stops. The value of silences in therapy is that they provide the opportunity for us to reflect on what has just been said. As you continue to work together and your therapist begins to understand more about your history and your current life, when it is appropriate he or she will try to help you to make connections between the past and the present to increase your self-awareness. At some point you may decide that you would like to intersperse your talk sessions with sandplay therapy. If so, he or she would be happy to introduce you to the sand trays and the sandplay figures that are in the office.

If the issue you bring to counseling lends itself to cognitive therapy, your therapist’s approach will be more directive, and you will find that he or she will talk more. Cognitive work would involve teaching you concrete skills to help you manage depression, anxiety, relationship problems, or whatever is causing difficulty in your life.

When it is time for your session to end, your therapist will let you know by simply saying, “We do need to end now.” If you have been talking about difficult things, they will check in with you to see how you are feeling, and might even suggest that you walk up to the corner and get yourself a cup of tea before going home. It’s important to take care of yourself, particularly if you have opened yourself up to vulnerable feelings in a session.

Before you leave the session, confirm your next appointment time. Usually its one scheduled session per week, although some sessions may be longer or more or less frequent.

On average, clients stay in therapy for one year. Some feel better much sooner, and some continue for much longer. The length of time it will take for you to feel better varies depending on your temperament and the particular issues you bring forward. Please keep in mind that a therapy session is not like a visit to a medical doctor. It is a process that can take time. Since therapy often involves discussing unpleasant aspects of your life, you may feel worse before you feel better. In the long run, however, it often leads to better relationships, solutions to specific problems, and significant reductions in feelings of distress.